i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
