I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
