You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
