There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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