Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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