is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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