im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
