My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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