if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize