Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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