I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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