Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
