are you so shy because you have an std?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
