I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
