i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
