why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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