70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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