3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
