ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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