you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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