i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
