If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
