At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
