You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
