He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
