My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
