how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
