where am i from again
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
