i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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