i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize