I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
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I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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