I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
did i just pee glitter
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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