Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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