It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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