So drunk its hurt
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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