Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
