so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
