I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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