You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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