Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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