Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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