You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
