You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
