Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
