A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
