My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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