omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
