Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
