Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I met the friendliest cop last night
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
