She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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