onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
