My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
