the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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