i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i need to put some appletini on your dick
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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