YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
