Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
