Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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