i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
