that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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