I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
