I am puke
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
