We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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